Prayer from a little seed

I read this tonight and saw myself. And so I pray these words heartfelt, knowing that God is calling me out of my little controlled "pot" to grow and bear fruit somewhere past my little horizons, to the place where He is leading me. 

A grain of seed, Lord.
Tiny. Inert.
The tight-turned, curled embryo
held hard within.
Straightjacketed by winter waiting.
Yet in your purposes
destined for life and growth.
Ready to reach for light,
expand, spread branches.
Leaf, bud, and fruit.

The kingdom of heaven,
like a grain of seed.
The kingdom of heaven, in me.
Its seed tight-packed.
Restricted in the shell of my inertia.
The warmth of your Spirit
prompts it to life.
But when it stirs,
sets root, and starts to grow,
I hold it back.
I feel its movement apprehensively.
I can’t see your purposes.
My horizon is too small and limited
because I keep my head too low,
look down too much.
I prune and chop
and starve your kingdom’s tree,
hoping to hold it,
controlled and tidy,
in a little pot of my own choosing.

But still it grows.
Pushing its gentle way irresistibly
between the hard stones of my life.

Lord, help me to sweep away
the sand of fear
blown, hard and persistently,
heaping unbelief in drifts across my life.
Help me to feel
in the prompting of new growth,
the excitement, the hope and tension,
of your Spirit’s purposes.
And when I don’t understand
just where it's leading to,
help me to welcome it.

Eddie Askew (Facing the Storm)